Have you ever been told that you talk things to death? Or that you need to "just let it go"? All you want is to feel heard, understood, and validated, but instead, you're met with frustration and dismissal.

Maybe you’re stuck in an endless loop of repeating the same conversations, thinking, Haven’t we already figured this out?

You’re not alone. I’ve been there too.

The Truth About Overcommunication

Let’s debunk a common myth: There’s no such thing as overcommunicating.

That cycle of frustration where both sides feel unheard or overwhelmed? That’s not a result of too much communication—it’s miscommunication.

Whether you’re the person desperately trying to find the right words so your partner finally understands you, or you’re the one feeling like you’ve already made yourself crystal clear, the issue is the same: the message isn’t landing.

Sometimes, we’re even both roles in different relationships. I get it.

My Story: From Communication Breakdown to Breakthrough

Several years ago, my husband Chris and I reached a breaking point. We were stuck in the exact cycle I’m describing—so stuck, in fact, that we separated. Neither of us felt heard, and all of our conversations seemed to end in frustration.

It wasn’t because we didn’t care. It wasn’t because we weren’t trying. We were simply lacking the tools to communicate effectively.

Our separation wasn’t the end of the story, though. Before deciding whether to finalize a divorce, we chose to reset—to completely start over. I created a framework for us to follow, one that stripped communication down to its absolute basics.

And it worked.

The Reset That Saved Us

Here’s what we did:

1. Commit to No Assumptions: For two weeks, we avoided any discussions about our relationship or past issues.

2. Focus on Collaboration: We only talked while playing cooperative board games. This helped us rebuild trust, focus on teamwork, and remove the pressure of direct, eye-to-eye conversation.

3. Rebuild the Foundation: We slowly introduced more complex topics, using the skills we practiced during our reset.

That reset gave us the tools and clarity we needed to truly hear each other. Today, our communication feels natural and effortless. Conflict still happens, but it no longer escalates—it’s addressed and resolved.

Why Communication Feels So Hard

Most of us were never taught how to communicate effectively. Sure, we were told to "use our words," but were we ever shown how to:

• Express our feelings without blame?

• Actively listen without planning our rebuttal?

• Set clear expectations and boundaries?

Probably not. And that lack of knowledge leaves us stuck in frustrating cycles, convincing ourselves that relationships are inherently hard.

But here’s the thing: healthy communication is a skill, and like any skill, it can be learned and practiced.

What Coaching Can Do for You

When I work with clients, I help them implement the same framework Chris and I used—but tailored to their unique needs and circumstances. Coaching offers:

• Support: Someone in your corner, guiding you through the process.

• Accountability: A structured approach to building new habits.

• Clarity: Objective feedback to help you see what’s working (and what’s not).

Imagine entering a difficult conversation with confidence. Imagine knowing how to express yourself and find common ground without falling into the same old traps.

But What If Growth Changes the Relationship?

Here’s a question I hear often: What if I work on myself and it costs me my relationship?

It’s a valid fear. Growth can be scary, especially if it feels like it might create distance between you and someone you love.

Here’s my perspective: You are worthy of relationships with people who are willing to grow alongside you. If you invest in your own growth, you deserve connections that honor and respect that effort.

Sometimes, personal growth reveals that a relationship no longer serves both parties. Other times, it inspires your partner to step up and meet you where you are.

Either way, choosing growth is choosing yourself—and that’s always worth it.

Ready to Break the Cycle?

If you’re tired of the frustration, tired of feeling unheard, tired of the same conversations on repeat, let’s talk.

Whether it’s through 1-on-1 work or simply starting with a conversation, I’ll help you get back to the basics of effective communication and build the tools to create the relationships you deserve.