It’s never too late to start cultivating community. And while maybe in the middle of a tyrannical fascist takeover isn’t the most ideal time, it’s still possible. Scratch that, it’s essential. For many it can and will be a matter of life and death. 

So how do you build community when it doesn’t feel safe to trust anyone? How do you find the balance between self-preservation and the strength and protection community provides? How do you stand shoulder to shoulder with your neighbors who stayed indifferent to the warnings, or worse, giddily invited this to our doorstep?

This post is about fatness, visibility, and finding the courage to be fully seen. It’s a story, a reckoning, and maybe a call to action—for me and for anyone else who’s been told they’re too much, not enough, or simply unworthy.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships. And not just any friendships, but the struggle that comes with making friends as an adult. It’s something I hear from almost every single adult I talk to. The question is always the same:

“How the FUCK am I supposed to make adult friends?!”

I’ve been talking more openly about my desire for wealth and influence, but not in the way most people think. I want the kind of wealth and influence that allows me to create radical, lasting change.

This seemingly small interaction is the perfect example of how Healthy Humaning is in everything.

Every conversation, every reaction, every choice is an opportunity to practice.
Each micro-moment builds on the last, creating a bigger picture of growth, trust, and connection.

This isn’t about being polarizing for the sake of it. It’s about clarity. It’s about honoring my boundaries, values, and the people I want in my life

The mirror and I have never really been friends. In fact, it's been a bit of a strained relationship, kind of like the classic protagonist meeting the “loner” character in a feel-good movie. The mirror wasn’t the one who rejected me—it was more like society’s reflections that taught me to be afraid of what I saw.

Healthy Humaning isn’t about perfection or universal harmony. It’s about showing up as your best self, doing what you can with what you have, and growing from every experience—whether it’s a win or a “learning opportunity.”

I am choosing to own my brilliance, publicly and loudly, so that there is more space for you to own yours too.

Someday, Healthy Humaning will grow into a community, a movement, and a legacy far beyond what I can imagine today. For now, it’s me, you, and the support system behind us. Together, we’re planting the seeds for something extraordinary.

Building trust and safety in relationships is essential—but it requires something counterintuitive. To truly cultivate safety and trust, we have to leave space for the other person to not trust us.

We’re wired for connection, and part of that connection is feeling acknowledged and validated. It’s not just about being proud of yourself (though that’s important). We also crave the reassurance that someone else sees us—that our efforts matter, that we’re doing okay.

That cycle of frustration where both sides feel unheard or overwhelmed? That’s not a result of too much communication—it’s miscommunication.

Healthy Humaning is all about creating connections where we feel safe enough to say, “This is my baggage, and I’m working through it. Thanks for being patient while I figure it out.”

Most humans were never thoroughly given all of the information, tools, and skills we need to have healthy, mutually beneficial friendships. So we're all just running around trying to muddle our way through, some of us with more on our side than others, which makes friendship just the big, messy ball of yuck for most people.

I was right. Everything that I identified as a deeply help value IS important. And I was also right that they are not always equally important at the same time from every perspective. Now I know how to use that information in a way that makes EVERYTHING about my life easier.

As a kid, I wasn’t taught how to differentiate between healthy friendships and relationships that took advantage of my generosity. I didn’t have the tools to say no—or to understand that real friends wouldn’t disappear just because I couldn’t or didn’t want to pay.

Healthy Humaning is all about creating intentional, compassionate connections. And saying someone’s name correctly is one of the easiest, most meaningful ways to do that.

With the right approach, feedback can become an opportunity to foster trust, growth, and understanding. Here’s how you can transform the feedback process into a meaningful and productive exchange.

But here’s the good news: You don’t have to live in that anxious headspace. By combining autonomy, personal responsibility, and healthy communication, you can create peace of mind and build resilience against these nagging doubts.