Discovering Your Values: A Journey to Alignment and Authenticity
Values are at the core of who we are. They guide our decisions, define how we interact with the world, and shape how we see ourselves. But identifying your values can feel daunting—especially when everything on the list feels important.
That’s the exact situation I found myself in recently. I had already defined values for other areas of my life (career, relationships, etc.), but personal values? That felt massive.
Breaking Down the Big Question
I started by asking myself, “What feels most important to me?”
Growth immediately came to mind, but then I hit a wall. It wasn’t that simple. Everything on my list—creativity, safety, balance, leadership, wisdom—felt important. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t have made it onto the list.
So, I reframed the question:
If I could only use three words to describe myself, what would they be?
What do I want people to say about me in rooms I’m not in?
This led me to a profound realization: there’s a difference between internal and external values.
Internal vs. External Values
Internal Values are the things that guide you, bring you joy, and help you stay aligned with your authentic self. These are your compass—the measures you use to check in with yourself.
External Values are what you hope to project to the world. They reflect how you show up and what you aspire for others to experience through their interactions with you.
Here’s where it gets tricky: you can’t control how others perceive you. Their experiences, filters, and emotions will color how they see you. But you can ensure that your actions and words align with your external values, giving you the best chance of reflecting the energy you want to share.
How I Found My Values
To identify my internal values, I asked:
What makes me feel my best?
What feedback from others brings me the most joy?
How can I check in to ensure I’m on the right track?
For my external values, I asked:
What do I want people to say about me when I’m not in the room?
What energy do I want to radiate?
My Values in Practice
Here’s what I landed on:
Internal Values: Growth, creativity, balance
External Values: Leadership, safety, wisdom
I created values statements to bring these ideas to life. Writing these statements felt transformative—like giving my values actionable clarity.
Internal:
“I thrive when I choose growth, creativity, and balance as the focal points for my alignment.”
External:
“I stay invested in my efforts to project safety, wisdom, and effective leadership toward others.”
Why Values Statements Matter
A simple list of values is a great place to start, but a values statement takes things further. It:
Provides a clear framework for decision-making.
Helps you stay aligned with your authenticity.
Acts as a reminder of who you are and what you stand for.
Discover Your Values
If you’re feeling stuck, start small:
Write down what feels important to you. Don’t worry about narrowing it down just yet.
Reflect on how you want to feel and how you want to show up for others.
Experiment with statements. Play around with words until they resonate.
Values evolve as we grow. Give yourself permission to revisit and revise them as needed.
