I mean that as much for myself as I do for you.

The other day I was listening as someone shared that watching another human unapologetically take up space made her feel like there was MORE room in the world for her. Not less.

The more she saw other people show up exactly as loud and boisterous or as calm and captivating as they are at their most authentic, the more space she saw opening up to make room for EVERYONE who wants to be seen and heard.

I feel the same way about brilliance.

Until I saw other people claiming their own brilliance, I couldn't even BEGIN to imagine saying something so....AUDACIOUS...and so dramatic. Even when I knew it was true.

When I first had the quiet little thought to call myself a "Healthy Humaning Expert", I immediately tried to shut myself down. Even though I KNOW that it takes 10,000 hours to develop an expertise in something. Even though I know after 25 years I have many more than 10,000 hours of research, cultivation, and healthy humaning practice under my belt.

If you look closely you might see that title floating around. It's in a few unassuming places. But I have yet to really say it out loud. I have yet to really and truly claim it, along with my brilliance, in a way that creates more space for others to do the same. I want to change that. I'm going to change that.

I'm choosing to change that now.

My name is Deana (like you spent the day on a farm) and I am BRILLIANT, a whiz, a legitimate expert in Healthy Humaning. My brain is FULL of information, tools, skills, analogies, and curiosity that helps me help you cultivate an intentional way of living that prioritizes showing up for yourself and other humans in the healthiest, most authentic ways you are currently capable of; without concern whether other people choose to do the same.

Until now only a handful of people have heard me earnestly and emphatically claim my brilliance on a regular basis. And to be honest, it's a VERY regular basis because my own brain fucking AMAZES me several times a day.

But I've held back on the rest of the world. I don't want to do that anymore.

I didn't want the scoffs or the doubt or whatever else I wasn't sure I could handle. The truth is I *can* handle it. And if I can't, well that's what boundaries and blocking are for. 

I don't need you to believe me. I don't need your approval. I don't even need you to stick around if you think it's annoying and arrogant.

Just like, by the same token, you don't need me to believe your brilliance. You don't need my approval. And your brilliance won't fade or diminish if I (or anyone else for that matter) were to think you annoying or arrogant for it.

I spent my whole life feeling like I wasn't good at (or for) much of anything. When in reality the only problem was that I wasn't allowing myself (or anyone else) to see the stuff I am AH-MAZING at.

That whole Catholic guilt and "humility" thing ran deep but holy hell did they get that one wrong. Like a good little girl, every time someone called attention to how good I am at helping people be themselves and foster healthy connections, I bowed my head and brushed it off, or even denied it. Just the way they taught me to.

I KNOW, from the very depths of my being, that if I had been taught to own my skills and my brilliance my world would have been so much better and so much brighter. I KNOW, to my CORE, that the world would already be a much better place because my brilliance, my expertise, is already permeating out into the world much further than I could imagine.

I am choosing to own my brilliance, publicly and loudly, so that there is more space for you to own yours too.

If you don't like that, if you think that's wrong, if you don't want to see it, that's absolutely and totally okay. You get to choose whatever works best for you. Don't think that disconnecting or distancing on social media means we can't stay connected at all.

If the thought of owning your brilliance feels exhilarating and terrifying at the same time, that's okay. You're allowed to feel more than one thing at a time. Remember, recognizing how you feel about it doesn't mean you need to act on it yet. You're allowed to wait.

If saying, "I am fucking BRILLIANT!" feels a little too "out there" and audacious, that's okay. You can share your brilliance in so many other ways. Art, music, words, tips, tricks, patterns, pictures, videos, and probably a million other ways I can't even think up because those are not *my* areas of brilliance.

If you're thinking to yourself, "Well I don't have a brilliance. I don't have anything." First of all, I see you. That feeling SUCKS so much and I'm sorry you're experiencing it.

AND

Can you ask yourself this question? "Is it *POSSIBLE* (just possible. Not probable or likely or promising) that I have a brilliance inside me somewhere that I have not accessed yet because I was not given the information or support to recognize it and grow it?" Is there a chance? If there is a chance, what is your next best step to figuring out that brilliance?

If sharing your brilliance publicly feels like too much right now, that's okay. Just because it feels right for me or someone else, doesn't mean you're wrong for not feeling it. That's what journals, friends, safe containers, and anonymous forums are for. If owning your brilliance publicly never feels right for you, that's okay too. I hope you can at least find a way to own it for yourself and maybe your closest humans.

If you need evidence and reassurance that this is actually okay, I've gotchu.

Remember, the only reason I feel like I can (and should) do this now is because other people went first. It's just like Healthy Humaning, someone's got to go first. You're reading this so you're probably not the one going first here. But the only reason I'm doing this is because watching other people go first made me feel like there was space for me. So that's *AT LEAST* 2 layers deep of people who have already done the thing and didn't die. (Even if it felt like we might for a second.)

All that is great and wonderful and exciting and has improved this world once lived as brilliance in someone's mind. It wasn't until they shared it and then other people validated and encouraged the sharing of that brilliance that it could grow.

Not everyone's brilliance has to be experienced (or validated) by every other person in order to be a wonderful, exciting, fulfilling addition to this world. A brilliant meal you crafted in the kitchen is no less brilliant if the only people to experience it are your family. It would not suddenly become more brilliant if it were served to a dining hall of thousands. (And there would probably be people who wouldn't like it anyway. Still just as brilliant.)

Don't be shy about your brilliance. The more you share, the more beacons you send out into the world that will help the people who are looking for exactly your brilliance find you.

Don't worry about the people who self-select out. That's the beauty of autonomy anyway.

Your job, your responsibility, is to share who you are and what you want to offer so that people can make a fully-informed decision. No one can do that when you aren't sharing. When you're holding back because misguided conditioning told you that owning your brilliance makes you a bad, selfish, or unkind person.

Let yourself be brilliant.

🫶 #HappyHealthyHumaning 🫶