“I just want someone to be proud of me!”

I see this sentiment often, and every single time, it cracks something inside of me wide open.

I know that ache—the one that comes from trying your hardest and feeling like no one notices. Or worse, that no one cares.

Here’s the thing: this isn’t just a stray thought or some fleeting cry for attention. This is real. It’s a deep, visceral, and universal human need.

The Power of Being Seen

We’re wired for connection, and part of that connection is feeling acknowledged and validated. It’s not just about being proud of yourself (though that’s important). We also crave the reassurance that someone else sees us—that our efforts matter, that we’re doing okay.

But somewhere along the way, many of us were conditioned to believe that needing validation is a weakness. That we shouldn’t ask for it. That if people cared, they’d notice on their own.

Spoiler alert: They don’t always notice. And it’s not because you’re unworthy—it’s because humans are distracted creatures, often caught up in their own lives.

Taking Responsibility for Your Needs

Part of Healthy Humaning is recognizing this truth: you are responsible for getting your needs met. That means asking for what you need—even if it feels awkward, even if it feels scary.

It’s not easy. Asking for validation or acknowledgment can feel vulnerable, especially when you’re not sure how it will be received. But here’s what I know:

1. It’s Okay to Ask: You’re not wrong or weak for needing reassurance.

2. Rejection Doesn’t Define You: If someone doesn’t respond the way you’d hoped, it doesn’t mean you were wrong to ask. It just means they’re not the right person to meet that need in that moment.

3. Yes, AND: The validation you want from certain people (like a parent or boss) might hit differently, but that doesn’t mean validation from others doesn’t count.

Giving Reckless Support

The first time I told a stranger I was proud of them, it felt awkward. I worried they’d think I was being disingenuous or weird. But I kept doing it anyway.

Now, cheering people on is second nature. I tell people—friends, strangers, anyone—when I’m proud of them. And do you know what happens?

The responses tell me this is exactly what the world needs.

• People light up.

• They feel seen.

• They start believing that maybe, just maybe, their efforts are enough.

This is why I challenge you to be recklessly proud of others. Celebrate their wins, big and small. Cheer them on for:

• Getting out of bed.

• Doing the hard thing.

• Surviving another day.

• Taking steps toward their goals.

Sometimes, all it takes is a simple “I’m proud of you” to make someone feel valued and seen.

Let Yourself Be Loved Like That

Just as you can be recklessly proud of others, you need to let others be recklessly proud of you. That means dropping the “it’s not a big deal” reflex when someone celebrates you.

• Got out of bed today? That’s a win.

• Navigated a tough conversation? Hell yes, be proud.

• Kept the kids alive another day? You’re amazing.

There are infinite reasons to be proud of yourself, and all of them are valid. Let people love you for those things. Let people celebrate you.

Because you deserve it.

Oh, and hey…

I’m proud of you.